I clicked around and found my old boyfriend's lj. Little bit of a shock to find that everything went down more recently than I thought - though I knew when I was adding up the years of what I thought was the timeline that I'd gone wrong somewhere. I thought he left in 2010, it was 2011. Which means that I've done a POOP TONNE in even shorter time. Crikey me. Though that does make sense, since I got diagnosed in 2011, and he got angry at me for being upset at having a lifelong illness. He was that brand of jack ass. xD
Still, I had a look at the old journals, found a photo of him the month after he stopped speaking with me, and I don't know. I get the sort of dokidoki thing, but I'm not torn up anymore. If anything it's nice to see that at least one of us had a clean break - he didn't seem to care, so that helps me feel better about working towards where I am with... well, not concerning myself with it. I was tempted to try get in contact again - maybe one day I will. He contacted me once since he left, but it reeked of manipulation so I let him take a hike. Maybe one day. For now I'm very happy working on me.
As ridiculous as that all was, and without going into a whole lot of detail, things in that area are starting to pan out. ^^